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How to Tell If Someone Is Holding You on an Emotional Leash

Love and healthy relationships have nothing to do with addiction. You need to understand when your relationships are still healthy and when you’d better do something to improve them. There is no need to leave your partner, but you definitely need to understand what’s going on and what to do in such situations.

What is a destructive attachment?

In a couple, attachment arises inevitably, and this is normal: people feel sympathy and are drawn to each other. Relationships make us happy, and separation from a partner makes us sad. When you are looking for Russian women for marriage on https://brides4love.com/russian-brides, usually you want to find someone who will understand you. And it is only clear that you want to spend time with this person. But it happens that attachment goes beyond the norm and becomes destructive.

How this attachment is formed

  • Emotional swing

A classic manipulative technique, the effect of which can be truly devastating. It is always present in the narcissist toolbox. But it is possible to roll the victim on an emotional swing unconsciously. People are complex creatures, and while one simply cannot decide on feelings, the other falls into complete dependence on them.

The essence of the technique is the alternation of a good attitude and alienation. For example, today, a person agrees to meet you, expresses their affection in every possible way, hints at a possible continuation, and you feel that you have met a soul mate. Tomorrow they block you in all messengers and disappear for two weeks. And then they reappear and pretend that nothing happened — you have a complete idyll.

Each time the manipulator returns, the victim receives an incredible dose of happiness. At this point, the abandoned person is devastated and suffering, so that the mood graph jumps from the lowest point to the highest one — the difference is felt in a very special way. One gets the impression that no one else and nothing else can bring such happiness.

At the same time, the victim is confused and doesn’t understand what happens when the partner disappears. They begin to look for reasons in themselves and, of course, find them. As a result, the partner’s return is colored with additional emotions: the person made a mistake (although they do not understand where), but they were forgiven.

Anyone can fall into this trap. It’s just that someone manages to slow down in time and assess the situation from the outside — it will look delusional. Someone may never get off this swing, especially if the manipulator is making it deliberately.

It is difficult for a person to end a destructive connection because of feelings of guilt, fear of taking responsibility for their own decisions and changing everything. They are scared that they will never meet a better partner and will not be able to cope with life without a partner because, for a long time, all attention and energy were focused on them. But it is essential to communicate all the problems and feelings and solve the problem.