Making friends is easy when we are open to new things, then our relationships develop almost automatically and we don’t even notice when and how they were born. But what can we do if we find it harder to get acquainted due to our aloof nature?
With the help of advice based on the following scientific research, we can make a lot of progress in this area and make new friends in a matter of moments, or even deepen our older relationships.
In this article, we will enlist some tips on how to make yourself more likable, and how to find that spark to connect with someone. But in order to try out these, you’ll have to go out and meet new people. Find places where you can meet new people like a beach, a social lounge, or a casino, where you can have a great time while playing poker or roulette and still can meet new people.
After you went to the desired person and initiated the first contact, try out the following methods to make yourself more likable:
1. Imitate
This strategy is called mirroring, which means subtly imitating the other person’s behavior. When we talk to someone, we try to copy his gestures, his facial expression. Researchers at the University of New York confirmed the success of the “chameleon effect” as early as 1999, and careful imitation certainly evokes sympathy from the other side.
2. Be present
It’s only natural that we’re more attracted to things that are familiar to us. As early as 1950, MIT researchers discovered that college students who lived together were much more likely to make friends than students who lived farther apart. This was because the students saw each other in the common dormitory room during everyday activities, not to mention the possibility of continuous communication.
And the most recent survey was conducted at the University of Pittsburgh, where four female students were asked by professionals to go to separate psychology classes, including one who appears several times. When the researchers showed the photos of the participants in the experiment to the boy listeners, the guys were more attracted to the girl they saw several times. So many times our presence is enough for sympathy.
3. Avoid criticism
Spontaneous character transfer is the phenomenon when people in our environment describe us in similar words as we say to our acquaintances. According to Gretchen Rubin, author of The Plan of Happiness, what we say about others greatly influences what others think of us. So if we criticise people often, they will also think negatively about us, and that won’t be good for our relationships, so we’ll replace criticism with praise.
4. It helps to have fun
Researchers at the University of Ohio and the University of Hawaii say we are sensitive to the mood of our environment, this is called emotional addiction. So if we want the people around us to be cheerful, we should do everything we can to radiate positive emotions towards them.
5. No need for praise
Research from the University of Minnesota has found that, based on the principle of profit and loss, it is much more effective to praise less often who we want to make a good impression on. So the effective way is to court less for our chosen friend.
6. Be kind
According to social psychologist Susan Fiske, if we are kind, our environment feels that she can trust us. Amy Cuddy, a psychologist at Harvard University, also believes it’s important in business to be friends first, to build trust, and only then to show that we understand our business. Because of the latter, they will be respected at most, which may be less the basis of a well-functioning relationship.
- We accept our mistakes
Thanks to the ‘belly drop effect’, we are more attracted to people who make more mistakes, who are more vulnerable, but only if they are good professionals. American social psychologist Elliot Aronson examined how small mistakes affect sympathy. He asked some students to listen to their peers about the recording, who were just answering quiz questions. It turned out that they became the most sympathetic, who answered the questions well, but in the end, poured their coffee.
- Touch
Research shows that we will be much more attractive to those we touch – almost unnoticed. A survey by the University of Mississippi found that waitresses who gently touched guests ’shoulders during service received more tips than those who did not.
- Ask about your secrets
Self-discovery is one of the best ways to build relationships. In a study at Stony Brook University, students were paired to ask different questions to each other, and the meeting took 45 minutes. The experiment revealed that students who received personal questions were much closer to their counterparts than those who touched on superficial topics. So if you want to gain someone’s trust, let’s ask him or her something personal, taking small steps, of course.
- Let’s talk
Researchers at Harvard University have found that being able to talk about ourselves has a beneficial effect on our emotional state. Based on this, we let our acquaintance tell us as much as possible about himself, thus remaining a pleasant memory of the conversation and will be willing to continue at any time.
