Star of The Traitors, Andrew Jenkins, has said he wishes he could say sorry to all the women he’s hurt in the past and has admitted many of his problematic behaviours were due to feeling ‘like a freak’ following a serious car accident which left him in a coma for four weeks.
In a reflective conversation with his 23-year-old son, Morgan, the Welsh reality star talks about his regret for previous behaviours and how his recent journey to self-acceptance had helped him realise how harmful his actions had been.
Talking to Morgan as part of Welsh Government’s Sound campaign, which aims to educate men about behaviours and healthy relationships to help end violence against women and domestic abuse, the pair discuss their relationship as father and son, and Andrew’s relationships with women.
During the heart-to-heart, Morgan suggests his dad sought validation in women after the accident, instead of working on own his mental health and learning to accept himself.
The father-of-one explains how he would go from relationship to relationship in a bid to seek validation from others, because in his own words ‘I didn’t want to be here anymore.’
The pair also discuss their father son relationship, with Morgan stating that until last year he had never heard his father say he loved him – ‘in 22 years – how mad is that.’
“I’d hate getting out of bed, wish I wasn’t here anymore, it was tough.”
In recent years, particularly since his appearance on BBC’s ‘The Traitors,’ Andrew has dedicated his time to promoting positive mental health amongst young men, and this was a motivating factor in him becoming an ambassador for the Sound campaign.
Sound was launched in 2023 as a community-led platform encouraging young men to take personal and collective responsibility in ending violence against women and girls. The campaign invites men to look at their own behaviours and attitudes to help make a difference.
Andrew explains: “For years and years I bottled things up, I didn’t talk about [the accident].
“I’d get up in the morning, I’d hate getting out of bed, wish I wasn’t here anymore, and yeah, it was tough. I used to call myself a freak every day.
“I always thought people were going to cheat on me, because I thought ‘I’m ugly, I’ve got scars, why are they with me? They’re pretty, they’re not going to stay with me’ and I end up self-sabotaging everything.
“Looking back, it’s awful. I should have worked on myself first before I jumped in a relationship. “I’ve hurt so many girls over the years, I wish I could say sorry to them, I wish I could change it.
In a moment of reflection, Morgan tells his dad: “You didn’t love yourself, so then you sought that validation in other people, mainly women.
Andrew jokes: “You’re quite intelligent aren’t you, fair play. “You’ve got a good head on your shoulders. I’ve learnt a lot from you today.”
‘I thought my dad didn’t love me anymore’
Andrew has also been on a journey of reflection in relation to his relationships with his own father. Growing up in a testosterone-filled house, he often felt he had to compete with his brothers to be the best at rugby, in a bid to impress his dad.
When his accident put a stop to his rugby playing days, he thought his dad would have no reason to love him anymore.
“I suppose, the fear of failure for me growing up was so bad, when I couldn’t play rugby anymore, I thought my dad didn’t love me or wasn’t proud of me anymore. I thought the only way to make my dad proud was playing rugby.”
Andrew also looks back on his interactions with son Morgan: “I get upset sometimes thinking about things I’ve said to you over the years.”
Morgan says: “I remember one time, we played [rugby against] Pencoed, I think I was like 14. I didn’t have a very good game, came off the pitch… ‘where’s my dad?’… ‘Oh, he got in the car and left’.”
Andrew remorsefully replies: “The one person you want to be consoled by is your father, and I’m not even there like. That’s awful.”
Reflecting on their recent breakthrough Morgan recalls: “I got out of the car, and you said I love you and it made me stop in my tracks like, God! I’d never heard that, I always knew it. I gave you a hug – weird giving you a hug, we’d never hugged, had we?
“But I also do it with Bampy now, your dad. Since you’ve started opening up, and obviously telling me you love me, telling them you love me, being more open with your feelings, the whole family’s done it.
Reflecting on the importance of the Sound campaign’s aims and objectives, Andrew says:
“What I wanted for 20 years, was just someone to listen to me. Unless you tackle the root cause of the problems – you’re always going to keep making the same mistakes.”
To see Andrew and Morgan’s video in full, follow the Sound channels
- Instagram: www.instagram.com/soundcymru/
- TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@soundcymru
- YouTube: www.youtube.com/@soundcymru
